6 key relationships every youth minister must have
Over the past several months we have been examining the state of youth ministry in Kentucky. We invited about 20 people involved in youth ministry from every section of our state in a variety of ministerial positions and various size churches to be part of an on-line Google community where we carried on a continuing conversation on what is working in reaching students. We also ask very pointed questions at this spring’s Iron Sharpening Iron events. Again just trying to get a handle on what is working to reach this generation of students. In this process, as you can imagine, several things appeared. Because we know there isn’t just one pattern or formula for having a successful youth ministry. The one thing that appeared over and over had to do with relationships, relationships at a variety of levels. The overwhelming consensus was that key to youth ministry involved healthy relationships in these seven areas.The youth ministers/workers relationship with God is the base upon which healthy youth ministry is built. You would think that this would be a “no brainer”, but it is one area that when we as youth minister become transparent and open with each other that all struggle. It is not uncommon that in being about the busyness of ministry that we forget to take time to work on our personal relationship with God. The times we spend in the Word preparing for the next Bible Study of retreat is not a substitute for our alone time with the creator.
Relationships with their family. A line from a classic song by Waylon and Willie goes, “they’ll never stay home and they’re always alone, even with someone they love”. And while they were talking about Cowboys, I think it applies to a lot of youth ministers, especially in the summer time. Let us not be so busy relating to other peoples kids that we forget to relate to our own. Oh, and don’t forget to date your spouse.
Relationship with church staff/youth workers. Those fellow ministers that God has assembled to be part of the team that you a blessed to do ministry with can be our greatest asset or our greatest cause of consternation. I have seen a lot of mediocre youth ministries made great because of the youth ministers ability to recruit and unleash a host of volunteers to be a part of a vital team. And I have seen a ton of talented youth minister crash and burn because they couldn’t figure out how to involve others around them.
Relationship with the students. You would think this would be higher on the list than this, and for most youth ministers/workers it is. And while a passion for teenagers is why most of us got into youth work, we cannot ignore the other relationships around us. They should feel safe around us and know that we are there for them but within the confines of healthy teen adult relationship.
Relationship with the local schools and community organizations. One of the realizations that kept reoccurring in our discussion was that the days of opening the doors of the church and the students would just clamor to get in are for the most part over. If we are going to have a vital youth ministry we need to get involved where students are. And building relationships with schools and community groups (Boy Scouts, Dance teams, community theatre, traveling ball teams) are central to being involved in the lives of this generation of students.
Relationships with other youth ministers/workers. The old adage that “no man is an island” is as true in youth ministry as anywhere else. For years I have said it this way; “No one understands youth ministry like another youth minister”. Being involved in a local network of other youth ministers and workers is key to a vibrant youth ministry.
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posted by: Joe Ball on July 10th, 2009
