Stage One-The Bachelor/Bachelorette.  A lot of youth ministers get their start in ministry while in college.  We stay up late, come and go as we please and live off leftover pizza and Big K cola from the youth events.  We think nothing of working late into the night, hanging out at school events, spending money as we want, being gone 6 nights a week and surviving on little or no sleep.  As God places in our life a spouse to walk through life with, we need to evaluate this insane schedule and realize that we now have to pay attention to doing ministry together.  Trusting God to speak truths into their heart that we may need to hear, and from the beginning making date nights (without students) part of our weekly routine.

Stage two-Romper Room. The change from being young and married to married with preschoolers is a huge transition that catches most youth ministry families off guard.  Our spouse, who may be used to accompanying us at youth events, teaching Bible studies and hanging out with students regularly, suddenly may find themselves having to stay behind and parent while we are off “doing ministry.   A lot of good student ministers are lost at this stage because we didn’t prepare for the changes that come at this stage of life.

Stage three- Married with children. Elementary age children want to come to youth events. They like hanging out with the older students and going all the fun places (amusement parks, skiing, hiking, concerts) that make up youth ministry.  And there may be ways to incorporate them into some of these activities.  Each family has to navigate this stage on their own. In making our choices here care should be taken at this stage not to spoil the youth ministry experience of our children.  Here is what I mean.  There ought to be some things that you cannot do until you’re old enough to do them.  We need to weigh carefully how much fun stuff we incorporate our children into, how many concerts, retreats, ballgames they attend so it doesn’t become passé and lose its excitement before they get their chance to be official participants.

Stage four-Parent trap.  Probably my favorite stage to this point was this one, the stage where our children were a part of the youth group.  I got the privilege of being Karen’s youth pastor for all 7 years of her youth ministry experience, and for the first three of Jordan’s.  It is tricky to navigate.  Karen would find it amusing that how on youth trips she would have to yell “Joe” for me to hear her.  It was what the other students called me and “daddy” didn’t seem to get heard in the noise of youth ministry.  I had to be careful to not be their parent on youth trips (after all I didn’t give any other student money or carry their stuff) and to give them freedom to be teens.  Gina and I also decided that some events ought to be optional for our kids.  Everyone else’s children got to choose if they went on the retreat, to the concert or skiing, why shouldn’t ours.  After all the ability to make wis e choices is a sign of maturity. In some ways they got short changed, they couldn’t come to the youth minister at their church and complain about how rotten their dad was, we were blessed that others in our church and our youth ministry network stepped up to speak into their lives as well,  ; and church “business” kept me out some. But I wouldn’t trade those years of seeing my own flesh and blood encounter God for anything.

Stage 5-Empty Nest.  Stayed tuned, we’re still learning what this one is all about.

A couple of random thoughts circulate through my head as I watch this show.  One, I wonder how many of us as ministers really know what it is like to live the life of our church members? I think of Wednesday’s in particular. 8+ hours at work, rush home get the family ready for church, interruption of homework schedules and what to do about supper….Then drive to church, go 3 or more different directions as families and then have to rush home and, get ready for bed and the next day. It is probably a 16 hour non-stop day.  WOW, make me tired just thinking about it.  And that’s just Wednesday.  It doesn’t count for the Monday committee meeting and Tuesday visitation and Saturday morning breakfast and then the marathon that Sunday’s have become.

The second thought is this. Do I as a staff member have any idea what it is like to work in the nursery on Sunday morning?  What it’s like to have to go into “overtime” because the service ran long again? Or I may wonder why some of the young adult families always head out the back during the invitation, and cringe, but it may be they are trying to beat the line to pick up their children. Do I know what it is like to be the janitor on Monday or Thursday that has to clean up after us?  Or how about those who have to walk from the hither lands of parking lot because the staff got all the prime spots by the entrance doors? Or the Van/Bus driver that gets there early drives the routes to pick up students for church only to be lambasted (again) because those kids need to learn to behave?

I could go on and on, but I think we get the point.  Let’s be proactive and take some time and look at how we do things, how it affects the volunteers we have and then do our best to make their investment worthwhile.

A few highlighgts from the post:

• According to the National Alliance for Youth Sports, 73 percent of kids drop organized sports by age 13.
• They practiced every day and had games every weekend. In the end they had little time for anything else. Dr. Richard Winer, a psychiatrist in metro-Atlanta says, "The pressure really becomes too much, and after a while they really become disillusioned with the entire sports scene, and get tired of it and finally say, 'That's it for me.'"

• So what should you do if your child wants to quit the team? Dr. Winer says, "One of the things that you might want to look at is a different sport. Sometimes kids just get burned out on one sport."

• Laura says, "If it wasn't as much of a time commitment it would still be really awesome if you could do some sort of recreational league, if it was an hour a week, or one game per week or something."

I wonder if there are some things we can learn about why teens are dropping out of church as well?

As I was preparing to teach the other night at Westport Road I watched the students scurry for the seats next to the outlets so they could plug their phones into recharge. (And now that I have an iphone I understand why).  And in that process of watching students I had this thought about youth space in the future.  Just as today's youth space is filled with Big screens and sound the next will have banks of outlets to recharge laptops and phones and wireless internet service will be a must as well.

And just as I was about to say, put your phones away, or at least turn the ringer off, I had another thought. This one hit a little closer to home.  I ask myself, would you go into a foriegn country and ask them to not speak their language, or to a deaf congregation and ask them not to sign?  If the perfered communication method of today's students is technolgy related then what am I doing to reach them through their perferred style of communications?  Like I said, this hit closer to home.  It is easy to ask students to put their phones away and pay attention when I speak.  But do they really hear me? I tell churches all the time that this generation is charactized by the ability to multi-task. But am I willing to allow them to?

So I guess I am asking, are we embracing the culture of our students, or fighting it off?

The responses were mixed.  About half of those that responded (and probably most of those that didn’t) did not involve their students at all in giving or promoting the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering.One said “We don't really do anything”, another said, we “haven't done much with students regarding the Lottie Moon offering.  We give towards it, but haven't connected students to it very well.”

Tree Akers, Minister to Students at Northside Baptist Church in Elizabethtown replied: “we have a few students that assist with physical illustrations and representations in the Sunday morning services for December.”  Also, “one of our ladies comes up with the different things we can pray for, and frequently, she will have students assist” her in this.  Also, “our church does a Lottie Moon Christmas post office.  Cards that go to various church members, are placed in the "church post office" and are sorted and sometimes delivered by the youth.”   To help raise money toward the churches goal “We do ask for a suggested donation per card”. 

One of the remarkable facts about the current U.S. adult population is the breadth of people’s exposure to spiritual training as children and teenagers. More than eight out of every 10 adults remembers consistently attending Sunday school or some other religious training before the age of 12. Those who recall being involved typically said they were engaged every week. In fact, seven out of 10 adults (69%) said they attended religious programs weekly.

The types of Americans most likely to recall religious participation as teenagers were evangelicals (61%), those ages 65-plus (60%), born again Christians (58%), Catholics (58%), women (56%), political conservatives (56%), residents of the Midwest (56%), married adults (55%), and Protestants (54%). On the other hand, atheists and agnostics (19%), members of other faith groups (30%), unchurched adults (31%), never-married individuals (33%), economically downscale adults (40%), and men (44%) were the least likely to have frequently attended Sunday school or other religious programs during their teen years.

When it comes to church engagement, those who attended Sunday school or other religious programs as children or as teens were much more likely than those without such experiences to attend church and to have an active faith as adults. For instance, among those who frequently attended such programs as a child, 50% said they attended a worship service in the last week, which is slightly higher than the national average and well ahead of those who rarely or never attended children’s programs. Among those who frequently attended religious programs as teenagers, 58% said they had attended a worship service in the last week. In comparison, less frequent participation as a teenager correlated with less frequent adult participation.

Measures of disassociation – being unchurched and changing from childhood faith – were also correlated with activity before age 18. The highest proportion of unchurched adults was found among those who had never attended as children or teenagers. Weekly activity as a child and weekly or monthly activity as a teen were connected with the lowest levels of disconnection from church attendance.

To read the full report click here. ]]> http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dxcomments/the-long-term-effect-of-spiritual-activity-among-children-and-teens.htm http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dx/the-long-term-effect-of-spiritual-activity-among-children-and-teens.htm?opendocument&comments Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:12:00 -0400 http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/trackback?open&id=11132009102259AMWEBL2X.htm http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dx/11132009102259AMWEBL2X.htm news Joe Ball http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dx/11132009102259AMWEBL2X.htm?opendocument&comments http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dx/11132009102259AMWEBL2X.htm This week I began my second interim youth ministers gig.  I am serving at Westport Road Baptist Church here in Louisville

Wednesday night was a blast, as I once again got a chance to stand in front of a group of students.  Not much charges the adrenaline of Youth minsiter like standing in front of a group of students.  We leave today for a weekend retreat at Cedarmore.  A whole weekend with students!

 “The students came on Sunday night with just the clothes on their back, a sleeping bag, and a cardboard box,” Houpt said. Then “after they got their home” (their box) “set up I gave each student $5 and sent them walking to Kroger to buy their food for the week. Some bought a box of cereal, some peanut butter and crackers, some ramen noodles, all with the knowledge they would have no way to heat it up, they would just have to eat it the way it was.”

Houpt had all the students’ journal about their experience. That night, Kristen Stephens, a senior at Christian County High School wrote, “Tonight we were given $5 to buy food to last till Wednesday night. Man did I find out what a dollar is really worth. I wanted to use every last cent. We had to walk to and from Kroger in the cold wet rain. But we came back to a warm fire! I felt so blessed; most homeless people don’t get that luxury.”

Houpt continued, “Monday through Wednesday we performed a variety of ministries, all connected with manual labor. This represented the day job atmosphere the homeless person lives in. At night we would have bible study and worship.”

Kristen’s account of the first day, included these notations; “I’m so tired. But I am ok! Today we were supposed to wake up at 8, but all of us were up and around the fire before 6:30! Today was a good day we went to the worksite and got most of the work done. We were working really hard. And MAN did we stink! All I can really think about is how we were only experiencing half of what real homeless people go through. They have to deal with so much more like getting mugged, actually sleeping outside without a box, and go days without food. I take so much for granted. I am really learning to appreciate what I have and what my parents do for me.”

“By Wednesday” Houpt said, “we were quite smelly and hungry but God had begun to do His work. The overriding empathy for what a homeless person's life is like was present. Many saw a new value of a dollar. Many had a new respect for what their family had provided. This has spawned a few student new ministries: collecting coats, feeding at the soup kitchen, just to name a few.”

Kristen’s final entry read: “Today was a no food day. We got breakfast and coffee that’s it. I’m hungry.” She continued “This week was amazing! I’ve learned so much. The main thing I got out of this week is, it’s not what you get out of an experience, it’s what you give. See we can get so much out of this like learning to appreciate things and really understand and be more compassionate about the homeless. That’s great and all except we don’t need God for that! We could be locked in a closet and get all th at. We would be just like the Pharisees in Luke 11: 37-54! We must give! And we can only do that with God.”

Houpt concluded, “The students are not the only ones that learned a lot.  We are definitely doing this again spring break. However; the students want it to be longer with less money. Go figure!”

To read all the students journal entries for the week go to http://xforce.tumblr.com/

And just recently 3 churches in Bullitt County: Victory Baptist, Vine Hill Baptist and Bardstown Baptist Church youth groups participated in a similar event.  For a report what they did click here.

1. They become a gossip group.

Small groups are not a place to talk about others; rather they should be a safe place that is free from gossip and condemnation. People who attend a small group should feel free to come as they are and share openly and honestly. If we are not careful, small groups can degenerate into a gossip group that will tear down instead of build up.

2. They become a one-man show.

The leader should not do all the talking. Encourage others to participate and share in the group discussions. I have been to some small groups where only one person does all the talking. When this happens no one wants to share, much less attend. An effective small group leader encourages everyone to participate in the times of discussion.

3. They become a place to complain about the church.

Small groups can become a sounding board for disgruntled people to complain about the church. This is not a place to complain and slander the church. If people have a problem with the church, they need to share it with the church’s leadership, which is biblical. Train your leaders to protect the unity of the church by not allowing upset people to use the small group as a place to complain about their problems.

4. They become a place for crazy people to take over.

Small groups can attract crazy people who will hijack the group if you let them. Do not allow people to get off the subject by chasing rabbit trails. Whenever people start getting off track in the discussions, bring them back quickly. This requires a lot of discernment and grace. A good leader can keep people on track and the discussion moving.

5. They become an end in themselves.

Sometimes small groups become merely a meeting place or a social club; rather small groups should reach out to new people in the community. Small groups can also serve the community. Encourage your people to reach out to others. Begin thinking of creative ways that you can serve together as a small group.

Read more here at The Resurgence... Or check out Winfield's church here...

Many churches today are having a very difficult time reaching teenagers with the message of Jesus Christ. Not only are the struggling to get teens from outside the church to discover Jesus, they are also not having much success keeping the teens who grew up in the church and should already be committed to Jesus. While the majority of churches are struggling to reach teens, some churches are succeeding in this area. What is the difference between those churches that are effectively reaching teens and those that are not? I have spent a lot of time reflecting on this question. Based on my experience in reaching teens and in working with a variety of churches, I have come up with these suggestions for how churches can reach teens more effectively.

1. Teens will attend a church that makes them feel loved.
This does not mean the church has to agree with everything teens do. Nor does it mean that churches cannot preach strong messages about sin that apply to teens. But it does mean that churches demonstrate love and acceptance to teens. Teens are struggling with a lot of issues. Their lack of emotional maturity will result in them doing things they should not do. Knowing there is a group of people that love them no matter what is very important to teens. They will go to a church that shows such love.

2. Teens will attend a church that proves love by its actions.
Teens are used to being told that someone loves them, but they see very little actual evidence of that love. Parents tell teens they love them, and then proceed to get a divorce because they love their new girlfriend or boyfriend more. Teens go too far sexually in a relationship because they are told they are loved, but once the other person gets what they want from the teen, the relationship ends and the teen is left wondering what happened to love. Churches say they love teens, but then fail to do anything that proves that love. If churches really love teens, they are going to have to put actions behind their words.

3. Teens will attend a church that speaks their “language.”
Teens have a number of ways in which they communicate, but the two that adults misunderstand most often is their love of music and their love of technology. Teens love music. Teens communicate in music. Teens use lyrics for their Facebook status and MySpace updates. Teens use music to communicate their feelings about relationships and events. Teens generally like music that is more upbeat than most adults, but more important than the beat is that music has deep meaning and communicates something important. In music, teens want to talk “to” God, not just “about” God. Churches that want to reach teens will probably need to speed the music tempo up, but they will also need to select songs that speak powerfully about how God can interact in daily lives.
Teens also love technology. They have been immersed in various video gadgets almost since birth. They have a hard time learning and communicating to others without the aid of technology. Churches that want to communicate with teens are going to have to learn to use technology both to reach out to teens and to help teens worship and learn.

4. Teens will attend a church that lets teens be involved in leading.
Teens are not interested in just sitting in the back pew and watching. Teens want to be involved in leading the music, taking the offering, saying the prayers and teaching the classes. Though they will need guidance in these types of leadership area s due to their maturity level, teens can lead effectively in the church. Churches that do not let teens lead will no t keep teens very long.

5. Teens will attend a church that makes sermons and Bible studies relevant to their real life experience.
People of all ages find it difficult to be faithful to church when the sermons and Bible studies do not seem relevant to real life. Teens find it almost impossible. This is why many churches cannot keep the teens that grew up in their churches. The topics covered during times of worship and Bible study seem to have little bearing on real life experiences. Pastors and Bible study leaders need to think carefully about how they teach the truth of the Word. They do need to give solid doctrine and historical Biblical context, but they also must have up to date applications of how that teaching impacts real life. Churches that fail to do this will not only lose their teens, but will eventually enter into a state of decline as people of all ages look for a church that is more relevant to life.

By following these principles, churches can reach out more effectively to teens and help them discover a life changing relationship with Jesus.

Dr. Terry Dorsett serves as a church planting missionary with the North American Mission Board of the SBC. He has a passion for helping young people discover a meaningful faith.

  ]]> http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dxcomments/10092009061918PMWEBU75.htm http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dx/10092009061918PMWEBU75.htm?opendocument&comments Wed, 7 Oct 2009 15:11:00 -0400 http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/trackback?open&id=10072009031447PMWEBQKS.htm http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dx/10072009031447PMWEBQKS.htm leadership development Joe Ball http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dx/10072009031447PMWEBQKS.htm?opendocument&comments http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dx/10072009031447PMWEBQKS.htm Originally posted byTim Elmore, on from his leadership link email / www.GrowingLeaders.com / www.Habitudes.org

Not long ago, a movie hit the box offices around the U.S. It was called, "Defiance." The movie told the history of hundreds of Jewish refugees who avoided the capture of the Nazi's during World War II, in Belarus. It's a poignant true story of leadership during a time of chaos. Daniel Craig plays the role of Tuvia Bielski, and Live Schreiber plays the role of his brother, Zus. These men struggle with how best to navigate the future of this growing band of resistants. There were no titles, or badges naming who should be in charge-and the brothers' convictions were sharply different. The whole story got me thinking-how do leaders emerge? How do we spot them? On what path do they step forward for all to see? How do ordinary students become leaders that others will follow?  
 
Both you and your students are on a leadership journey. Let me suggest four paths that individuals take on their way to becoming a leader. Maybe you can spot these in your organization or campus.
 
1. Some are gifted to lead.
These are the easiest kind of emerging leaders to identify. They are people who are simply gifted to lead. Either because of their personality or because they have the ability to organize or plan a strategy, these people step up and find it natural to lead, regardless of the circumstance. Whatever team they are on, whatever group they are in-they seem to be the person that others look to for answers. They usually have a strong personality. They often are gifted at articulating key goals. They are almost always clear on what must happen to reach those goals.
 
I have worked alongside Dr. John C. Maxwell since 1983. John is this kind of leader. If you assembled a group of people in a room-and you placed Dr. Maxwell in that room with them, he would inevitably take charge. I don't mean this in a derogatory way. He is just gifted to lead. He does it naturally. He has the ability to quickly see what needs to happen to reach a target or make things run more efficiently, and he has the strength to attract people to his plan. He is magnetic. I have seen John organize travelers at an airport, when the flight was delayed and come up with a plan to get to their destination. I have watched him turn a chaotic situation at a restaurant into one of laughter and cooperation; he turns groups into teams. He steps up to lead because of his gift.
 
2. Some are situated to lead.
The gifted leader makes up, perhaps 10% of the population. If leading is reserved for gifted individuals-we will certainly experience more problems than solutions. There just aren't enough gifted leaders to go around. Fortunately, this isn't the case. I believe there are two kinds of leaders-and everyone fits into one of these two categories: habitual leaders and situational leaders. Habitual leaders are the ones we just discussed above. They lead out of habit. Situational leaders are the ones who don't believe they're a leader-but, put them in the right situation, and they lead. Find a situation that matches their strengths, their passion and abilities, and in that situation, they will know what to do. And they will influence others.
 
My daughter Bethany is a situational leader. She would be the first to admit she isn't the world's grea test leader. Her personality is very phlegmatic. She's laid back, casual and simply enjoys relationships. H owever, as a Resident Advisor at her university-she finds herself in a situation that matches her identity. She is natural at leading her floor of women. She has intuition about people, she is comfortable in meetings, she's confident, she's socially aware and she experiences her deepest influence in that situation. It's her sweet spot.
 
3. Some are positioned to lead.
There is a third path to leadership. This is where an organization has a role that needs to be filled and a positions person in that role, just to see what happens. Sometimes, they're merely looking for a warm body to meet a need, or a person to temporarily "plug a hole" in the boat. When the potential leader steps into the position-it brings the best out in them. A sense of initiative and responsibility surface and they rise to the occasion. Perhaps those virtues would have never been so visible had it not been for the new "title" and position. Although I do believe there are many people with leadership positions who are not fit to lead, and that a position does not automatically make a leader-still there are some that only lead well once they are given the authority to do so.
 
For years, I taught college students in San Diego. Richard was a student who entered our department as a quiet, assuming and shy young man. The last word you would use to describe him was the word: leader. However, as time went on, I noticed his high level of integrity and his follow through on every assignment. I felt he would make a great study group leader-and so I asked him to become one. He was reluctant. He didn't see himself as a leader at all. In fact, he called himself a "follower." I replied that following well was the first step on the leadership journey. Richard finally gave in a led a group. He was outstanding. The next year, he was leading three groups; by his final year in school, he was leading all the study group leaders. Even he was surprised. It was in him all the time-he just needed to be positioned correctly.
 
4. Some are summoned to lead.
This fourth pathway is most intriguing. I believe many potential leaders step into their primary means of influence because they are "summoned" by the circumstances around them. In other words, many people view themselves as quite "ordinary." It is only when a crisis occurs or a tragedy looms on the horizon, that we see what's really inside those ordinary people. They aren't seeking a title, nor are they seeking greatness or notoriety. When a problem emerges, however, they suddenly are clear on what must happen and they step up to the plate. They don't even think of themselves as a leader when they do. The just know someone has to do something, and instead of looking around them...they look inside and do it.
 
In his early days, Harry Truman was summoned to lead. As a kid, he was a geek. He worked on a farm, although he wasn't big or well built. He wore thick eye-glasses that resembled the bottom of a Coke bottle. While in college-his father became ill, so he returned home, and never completed his studies. It was while this nerdy young man served in the military during World War I that he saw who he was. His troop was marching through Europe when German artillery began dropping all around them. Nearly every soldier ran in retreat. Harry Truman's horse fell over almost killing him. But he slipped out from underneath, stood up and yelled for the men to get back in formation. They had a mission to fulfill. Those men were stunned to hear this quiet, li ttle "four-eyed" man calling them to finish what they'd started. They returned and did what Harr y said. Later in his diary, Harry wrote: "I learned two things about myself that night. First, I had a little courage. And, two, I liked to lead others." As president, he handled some of the toughest decisions every made by a leader.
 
Every person's life is an ongoing story. And everyone's life is a path to somewhere. May you be able to see your path and the paths of students around you clearly-and help them become the leader they were meant to become.                                                 
 

Some churches are trying to bridge the generation gap.  Bill Houpt the associate pastor of the Hillcrest Baptist Church in Hopkinsville has for the last 10 years has intentionally bridged this gap with an “adopt a grandparent” program. This “has changed the way I do youth ministry”, Houpt says.  “Every February, a youth adopts a secret grandparent.  They invite that grandparent to a Valentine Banquet.  At the banquet, we do various serious and fun activities for the purpose of the youth and senior adult getting to know each other.  Then in the summer, we have a picnic with the same group”, Houpt says.

This is more than a once a year event.  The relationship began in February extends through out the year “the youth support the senior adults by raking their leaves doing chores, etc. The senior adults support the youth … financially for trips and in prayer.  For many, who do not have extended families, the secret grandparents have become their grandparents” Houpt says.  For some he says, “This carries on even after they graduate high school.”

Summitt Hills Baptist Church is in northern Bullitt County.  According their pastor, Dr. Mike Wyndham, “it is in fact common, the norm, to have 15-20 youth on Wednesday night and very often less than that number of adults.” Wyndham says: “I think the relationships of our youth and seniors are more organic, less intentional.  On the first Sunday night of advent, we simply very informally met, pulled the Christmas stuff down from the attic, and decorated together while conversing, eating cookies, drinking cocoa, etc.  During that time, the kids were observed working alongside seniors.  I heard conversations that involved what Christmas was like years ago and what the kids were expecting for Christmas this year.  These were unprompted and natural.  This, I think, more characterizes the nature of these kinds of relationships at SHBC.”

So what can we learn?

Ignore the packaging. There are few places a teenager dressed all in black with dyed hair, multiple piercings and tattoos can sit beside an 80 year old and both and have a common ex perience.  Church should be one of these.

Life lessons.  There is a lot to be learned from both generations. Sometimes the only interaction students have with senior adults is when they do a missions experience in a retirement or nursing home facility.  There are plenty of vibrant seniors just waiting to share their stories and their lives with a younger generation.

Senior Adults can be your biggest asset. Houpt says, “What I have found is that a bond has been made between the two ministries.  The senior adults have become my greatest support.  I believe this has happen because the youth show they care instead of just talking about it”.

Friends on the other side. One of the most disturbing facts about youth ministry in the high percentage of students that graduate youth group and graduate the church.  Maybe with meaningful relationships with adults outside of the student ministry the transition to big church will be easier.

Age appropriate-Not everything we do has to be for the entire group.  State law in Kentucky says you have to be sixteen to drive, fuge says you have to have finished the sixth grade to go to camp and the U.S. Constitution says you have to be 35 to be president.  And as much as I may agree or disagree with those laws, there isn’t a whole lot I can do to change them.  But somewhere along the way we have decided that every event we offer in ministry has to be something we can take our entire group to or we are not going to go.  There are times when we need to all be together, that’s what families do.  But there are things that our juniors and seniors can experience, lead and discuss that our middle schoolers aren’t ready for.   And we need to honor those differences.

Quality-There are very few reasons for our programs to be ill planned.  I know a lot of us as youth pastor like to wing it.  Hey, I’ve even been referred to as “the king of wing”.  And there are times where winging it is necessary.  But our students deserve programs, be they Bible studies, retreats, hayrides or whatever, that are quality.  “Our” students will come to the events that we offer.  But we need to make sure that the events we offer are of enough quality that they won’t be embarrassed to invite their friends to them.

Relational-One of the beautiful things about youth ministry programs is that they offer a plethora of opportunities for us to build relationships with students.  But, it also provides those same opportunities for the adults in our church to build relationship with our students.  Chaperoning an event or helping with the Wednesday night meeting should not only be about crowd control.  They provide excellent opportunities fo r relationship building.  I still remember the time when I was in high school and our youth minister took Olan and Jewell Kerns to youth camp as chaperones.  They were a senior adult couple in our church.  They were ancient to us at the time (he had to be anyway-my dad had had him as a teacher!).  But what a wonderful experience that was as the Kern’s got to know us and we got to know them. ]]> http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dxcomments/09082009032520PMWEBQSD.htm http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dx/09082009032520PMWEBQSD.htm?opendocument&comments Fri, 4 Sep 2009 09:21:00 -0400 http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/trackback?open&id=09042009092337AMWEBHQB.htm http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dx/09042009092337AMWEBHQB.htm Culture Joe Ball http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dx/09042009092337AMWEBHQB.htm?opendocument&comments http://www.despisingnone.com/kbc/blogs/yb.nsf/dx/09042009092337AMWEBHQB.htm This is a repost of a Baptist Press article

Posted on Sep 3, 2009 | by Kelly Shrout

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (BP)--Young adults don't seem to have a problem with Jesus. In fact, they describe themselves as spiritual. But many of them are looking everywhere for spirituality except the church.

Such topics were at the forefront of a "Connect Conference" sponsored by the Threads young adult initiative of LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention in Nashville, Tenn.

Geared toward church leaders who work with young adults, the conference included sessions recapping recent statistics about why many 18-34-year-olds leave the church.

Sam Rainer, who co-authored "Essential Church: Reclaiming a Generation of Dropouts" with his father Thom Rainer, LifeWay's president, offered reasons for what some speakers describe as a "mass exodus."

"We find that the No. 1 reason young adults leave church is that they simply want a break from church," said Rainer, noting that 16 is the critical age when most students begin to drop out.

"Our research shows that at around the age of 16 many of the net gains for attendance switch and become net losses," Rainer said. "Spiritually, the problem begins earlier than young adulthood."

Rainer also offered solutions to the dropout problem.

"Churches must build a sense of community," he said, citing data that indicates 83 percent of young adults who have been active in a small group or Sunday School class remain in the church after five years.

"The younger generation goes to church because of the sense of purpose and mission," he said. "They value authenticity and depth."

Thom Rainer, also a featured speaker at the Aug. 20-21 conference, outlined three components of depth as discussed in Essential Church.

Depth begins with the pastor, he said. Depth also must come from small groups and Sunday School classes. Finally, depth must come from personal devotion and Bible study.

The Rainers also mentioned three characteristics of individuals who stay in church: Studies show that they come from families who regularly discuss spiritual matters, serve together on a mission trip or service project, and pray together consistently.

Ed Stetzer, director of LifeWay Research, reviewed data about how young adults view God and their beliefs about the church.

Stetzer noted that 81 percent of 20-29-year-olds believe that God, a higher or supreme being, actually exists.

He cautioned conference attendees about statistics that portray young adults as unspiritual.

"Don't believe that young adults, even unchurched young adults, are not interested in spiritual things," Stetzer said, noting that they are looking outside of the church.

According to a survey released in the book "Lost and Found" by Stetzer, Jason Hayes and Richie Stanley, 73 percent of unchurched 20- to 29-year-olds consider themselves "spiritual" because they want to know more about "God or a higher supreme being."

Further, 77 percent of 20-somethings believe Christianity today is more about organized religion than about loving God and loving people.

Yet this is a generation that God could use to change the course of history, said Jason Hayes, young adult ministry specialist at LifeWay.

"For both churched and unchurched young adults, we have found that they recognize that their choices make a difference, and they want to improve the world around them," Hayes said. "As a result of this heightened sense of responsibility, we can help create a door for service and evangelism."

Hayes said young adult leaders must teach the whole Bib le, foster discussion and answer the difficult questions of faith.

"Offer quality, exegetical Bible teaching and sing theologically sound music that accurately depicts the Word of God," he counseled.

Conference attendee John Oswald, assistant pastor at Grace Baptist Church in St. Louis where the young adult group has grown from four members to 30 in the past five years, attributed the increase to assimilating young adults into the life of the congregation.

"We raised the level of expectation of our young adults and became intentional about how we ministered to them," Oswald said. "We offered opportunities to go deeper into Scripture and began a mentoring program that paired young adults with seniors in our congregation."

Lee Saunders, associate pastor of Garden Oaks Baptist Church in Houston, credited the Connect Conference with offering information on the importance of dispelling the myths of the younger generation.

"We must correct those myths within our churches and realize that young adults are not hard to reach," Saunders said. "We have to let the Holy Spirit guide us. God ultimately has to be in what we are doing. It's not about us, but it is about reaching a generation for Christ and offering spiritual growth and development."

The Connect Conference included small-group discussions about leadership, the postmodern worldview and the importance of understanding the young adult context. The conference also offered a question-and-answer panel forum.
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Kelly Shrout is the employee communications editor at LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention. For more information about the young adult ministry at LifeWay, visit www.threadsmedia.com.