How teens communicate

Been paying attention to the way the teenagers in your life communicate?

Besides the parenting implications of turning a blind eye, observing American’s burgeoning adults will help predict their media habits as they grow older—or so says a study this month from Ericsson ConsumerLab.

“As they get older, teenagers start to use communication tools in the same way as adults,” Ann-Charlotte Kornblad, senior advisor at Ericsson ConsumerLab, said in a press release. “They will continue to use ‘their’ tools such as texting, Facebook and video chat, but at the same time, they understand the need to use voice and email as they move into the next stage of their lives.”

For the time being, however, you can rest assured that most teens think land lines and email are lame, according to the study, which interviewed nearly 2,000 teens ages 13 to 17. Ericsson ConsumerLab said the respondents are representative of teens throughout the United States.

Here are seven useful (or at least interesting) takeaways from the study:

Face-to-face communication is tops among teens. The study asked teenagers to rank the methods of communication they would most miss if taken away, and 58 percent cited “in real life” as No. 1. Here’s the full list:

1. Meet “in person” (58 percent ranked it No. 1)
2. Texting (28 percent)
3. Talk on the mobile phone (5 percent)
4. Facebook (5 percent)
5. Talk on the home phone, email, video chat, chat, Twitter (tie at 1 percent)

They keep their phone calls brief. The study found that teenagers think phone calls are “more suitable for adults,” because they’re unsure about the “unwritten rules of phone conversation.” As a result, they typically keep their phone calls short: 53 percent of teens—59 percent of boys and 47 percent of girls—said their calls last less than four minutes, according to the study.

Video chats are becoming more popular. Twenty-three percent of the study respondents said they were “engaging in more video chats,” and 83 percent of teens who use the platform do so at least once a week. That makes sense—it combines some attributes of face-to-face interaction with the ease of technology. More than one-third of teen video chatters said they use it for homework (just as previous generations primarily used their cell phones and home phones for homework—ahem).

Facebook and texting are important tools for dating. Although teenagers still meet prospective boyfriends or girlfriends in person, they rely on Facebook and text messages to continue the courting process. For instance, after meeting someone in real life, teens will look the person up on Facebook before asking him or her on a date—which is of course done via text message. Here’s the breakdown:

Teenagers use Facebook emotionally. Adults, the study noted, tend to use Facebook as a substitute for other forms of communication. Teenagers, on the other hand, “use Facebook emotionally, as an extension of their real-life relationships.”

The most common Facebook activity for teens is “liking” and creeping. And by creeping, we mean looking at other people’s profiles.

Mobile phones are the new smoking. Not because some studies have said the cell phones cause cancer (at least not in the context of this study), instead it refers to teenagers’ strong desire to belong. “Young people create or adopt their own social tools—which should ideally exclude their parents and older generations,” the study said. “Smoking was once a social tool, a way of belonging. These days, with smoking increasingly unpopular, technology—and particularly the mobile phone—is seen as the most popular social tool.”

This piece was written By Michael Sebastian | and originally posted: January 20, 2012 at prdaily.com 

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2012 a year of Milestones

50, 70, 21, 30, 1 and 50. No, those aren’t the signals Tim Tebow calls at the line of scrimmage or the combination to the gold vault at Fort Knox. Those numbers represent the milestones that our family will celebrate in 2012.

50-We start the year celebrating 50 years of marriage of Joe and Vicki Ball, my mom and dad. I have had the privilege the past couple of weeks of going through stacks and stacks of old pictures and scanning them onto a jump drive for a media show at the anniversary celebration.  Being able to do this has reminded me what Godly examples they have been, not only to my brother Kenny and me, but to countless others through the years.  We have been blessed with parents who taught us and lived before me the truth of scripture. We will take time to celebrate with family and friends the influence this couple our parents have been on scores of people.

70-My Dad will turn 70 in February.  It doesn’t really seem possible that he can be that age. He can still work circles around me.  We can spend the day cutting and splitting wood and at the end of the day he is still going strong and I am dragging myself into the car to go home. What a legacy his life has been to an entire community.  He has helped plant two churches, been scoutmaster of a local scout troop for over 45 years, is a deacon at his church and is the community gardener and handyman.  This is in addition to raising 2 boys, helping to raise 4 grand-kids and now enjoying the first great grandchild.

21-our son Jordan turns 21 in May and as unbelievable that it is to me that my dad is turning 70 it is even more so that our son will be 21.  It seems like only yesterday that Gina and I brought him home from the hospital and began the incredible journey of parenting a son.  It has been amazing to see God work in him and to hear from his friends the faith they see in Jordan.

30-This fall marks the 30 anniversary of my first date with Gina.  We went to Mr. Gatti’s in Campbellsville following the homecoming basketball game.  Who would have thought that splitting a pizza on a double date with Gary and Sharon would of lead to this incredible journey?

1-in early December we will celebrate the first birthday of Emerson Kate, my great niece and the first of the next generation. Time truly marches on.

50 (again)-This one is mine.  In December we will close out the year by celebrating my 50th birthday, and of all the things on the list this seems like the most improbable of them all. How in the world will I be half a century old?  There is so much I wanted to do before I turned 50. I wanted to shoot under 85 in golf, own a new truck, hit a home run, shot and skinned my first deer, learned to sail and go skydiving.  And I know that 50 is not the end of the world and there is still the possibility of doing most of these, but it is a significant milestone.

What does any of this have to do with youth ministry? After all that is the point of this space.  In his book, “Shift: What it takes to finally reach families today”, Brian Haynes talks about the importance of recognizing milestones in the life of a family. Some of those milestones are: The birth of a baby, salvation experience, turning 13, commitment to purity, beginning high school, learning to drive and high school graduation.  There are a significant number of milestones built into a student’s life that we can partner with parents and families to help celebrate. These can serve as great times of celebration and teaching spiritual truths to both our students and their parents.  But these will not happen if we don’t have a plan.

As we begin 2012 let’s take some time and look at our calendars and see how we can use the approaching milestones in the lives of our students and their families as times to honor Christ and move students into deeper relationships with each other, their families and with God.

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balancing ministry to church kids and kids from the community

Most of us will at some point face it, what to do when students from the community become part of the youth group.  This can be unsettling to some families in the church. Two of our YMN coaches, Steve Coleman, Youth Minister at Richmond FBC, Richmond KY and Kris Billiter, Minister to youth and families at Walnut Street Baptist in Louisville, KY are our guest today. The Conversation in this episode centers on how can we best minister to all the students in our ministry.

as always you comments and suggestion are welcomed.

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Learning “culture”

This time of year, as we collect the Lottie Moon Christmas offering and participate in the week of prayer for international missions, I always think of our IMB missionaries that are taking the Gospel to the ends of the world. We have good friends that have spent the last twelve years overseas.  They work in Eastern Europe as missionaries.  To protect their ability to get in and live in the country we won’t name them or the country the serve in.  But to effectively take the Gospel to the people group they work with and live among they have spent a lot of time learning their culture. They have learned their language, their thoughts and their way of life by living among them.

So it struck me as odd this week, when on two different occasions I was privy to conversations about learning about the culture of students today.  I think they meant well, but what they wanted was three of four bullet points that would tell them everything they need to know about how to reach this culture of students.  And while I could have easily espoused some of the highlights of this culture: technologically savvy, prefer text messaging to phone calls, service oriented, starving for healthy relationships with adults, etc… When it comes to learning culture, really learning culture there are no short cuts.

If we are serious about reaching this culture of students we have to spend time with them, live life with them, and get to know them in their environment.  The Holiday season provides ample opportunity for us to do just that.

 

  1.  Go to a local High School sporting event.  Several schools have holiday basketball tournaments.  But don’t just go to watch the game, go and watch the students.  Watch the students in the crowd, in the halls, in the concession stands.  See how they communicate with each other, what they are wearing, how they interact with each other.
  2. Check with your youth minister/director and see if you can volunteer to help with/chaperone your church’s youth Christmas Party.  Go and help out but more importantly watch and interact with students.  Ask them about what Christmas is like at their home.  See who talks with whom and who isn’t talked to at all.  Ride the van or bus on the way home and see where they live.
  3. Spend some time on facebook or twitter, open an account if you don’t have one and ask a student that you know to “friend” you on facebook, or follow some of them on twitter.  You will be immersed in culture in just a small amount of time.  Don’t be a stalker and reserve comments of what you may see for a later time.
  4. Talk to the teenagers that you are around at Christmas time.  When you gather together at family functions, don’t let them wander off in a room to themselves. Go with them, sit with them and engage them in conversation.  Ask them about their favorite band, TV show, or store to buy clothes from.  Better yet, invite them to the “adult table” and engage everyone in conversation about life and family.  Ask them about their favorite Christmas, and tell them about yours.
  5. Watch a few minutes of MTV of anything on the CW network.  You can learn a lot in a small amount of time. Be careful not to jump to quickly to conclusions, not all students are doing what is being portrayed on these networks, but it is a good look at what your students are facing on a daily basis.
  6. Go to the malls, not to shop but to people watch. It is amazing in Louisville the difference in culture that each mall attracts.  Look at what they are wearing, what they are doing, how they interact with one another, where they are eating and you can learn a lot about culture.
  7. A couple of internet sites that can give you quick snippets of youth culture information are www.cpyu.org and www.youthministry360.com  both have great sections on culture and you can subscribe to regular culture updates from either site.

If we are serious about reaching this generation of students, we need to do the hard work of learning their culture and then presenting the Gospel to them within their culture. That’s exactly what we are giving to and praying that our international missionaries are doing this time of year. May we join them in the task of taking the Gospel to all the cultures of the world.

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Grandma, can I eat at the big table this year?

One of my memories of Thanksgivings is waiting for the day I would finally get to eat at the adult table.  It was a long time in coming, and took a lot longer than I thought it should.  My cousins and I spent years banished to the children’s tables and patiently, well maybe not so patiently waited our turn to be at the grown-up table.  One by one my older cousins would take their place, and just when I thought it had to be my year, then an older cousin would get married and their spouse would automatically inherit a spot, or an out of town relative would come in and delay my advancement to the grown-up table.

So what does this have to do with youth ministry?  I am glad you ask.  If we want to be taken serious as ministers we have to be willing to move to the grown-up table.  One of the recurring themes I hear as I travel the state is that youth ministers want to be respected, want to feel like their ministry matters, that they are no longer banished to the kiddie table.  A move to the grown-up table for youth ministry is two-fold.

1. The church- As a body of believers we must make youth ministry a priority.  We are loosing ground when it comes to reaching students and we have to be willing to do whatever it takes to reach them.  We have to expect more from the people we hire to do youth ministry than to be a glorified baby sitter.

We also have to be willing to let the students be apart of corporate church life.  There is no excuse for students not leading in worship and teaching classes.  They are taking advanced calculus in high school, so I know they are capable of far more than we allow them to do.

We also need to provide quality facilities and equipment for them.  This is the age of technology.  We need to recognize this and take the necessary steps to provide resources that meet their educational needs. We need to make sure that Buses and vans are in good shape and will not break down every time they leave the city.  Our budgets reflect our priorities.

2. Youth Ministers- we cannot place all the blame on the church, the pastor or the parents for us not being invited to the grown-up table.  At times we are our own worse enemy.  We need to have details in place.  Parents want to know that their children are well taken care of, and the more details we can give them the more they will believe that we know what we are doing.  I know it is a whole lot more fun to hang out with students than to be in the office planning the logistics of trips and events, but those details give our church leaders and parents the assurance that we know what we are doing.

Be an example “ both in word and deed”.  Pick up after yourself, or get volunteers to help you.  If you know the senior adults are using the van in the morning, or that it will be used to pick people up for church, then clean it.  Take time to speak to parents after the meeting.  Straighten the youth room; don’t leave it for the custodian to clean up your mess.

Be a good steward of the resources given you.  Your budget will never have enough money in it.  CD players will break, resources will disappear and there will always be students that cannot afford to go.  The wiser we are with spending what we are given the more we will be seen as leaders.

Keep your pastor informed.  He can be your strongest ally.  It is a lot easier for him to deflect detractors if he knows what you are planning in advance. He can be an advocate for you and possibly defuse sticky situations, otherwise he has come find you, talk through what happened while the church member or parent is fuming.

I could go on for a lot longer.  It is time youth ministry got a seat at the grown-up table.  It is time for it not to be seen as a stepping-stone to “real ministry”.  It will take real work from all parties involved for that to happen.

Save us a place at the table.

 

This post was originally posted Nov 6, 2007 here at the despising none website. To see it and other post at the original blog site click here

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Time Management-Establishing Priorities

There are only 24 hours in a day, yet some of us our better managers of our time than others. Two of our YMN coaches, Steve Coleman, Youth Minister at Richmond FBC, Richmond KY and Kris Billiter, Minister to youth and families at Walnut Street Baptist in Louisville, KY are our guest today. The Conversation in this episode centers on how can we be the best stewards of the time we have.

What practices do you use to help best manage your time?

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The simplicity of being intergenerational

A couple of weekends ago I had the privilege of going back to Hopkinsville and officiate Alisha Sargent’s wedding. Alisha is one of our former students and she also served as our ministry intern one summer. It is always an honor to be asked to do these and we love going back to Hopkinsville and seeing dear friends.

The beauty of the autumn days and an outdoor wedding reminded me of those fall break days in Hopkinsville when we would gather what students we could and rake leaves for some of the senior adults in our church.  It wasn’t anything that took a lot of planning or resources, honestly it was more of an excuse to hang out with students, and get out of the office.  Students would show up at the church about 10:00, we rake a small yard or two in town, grab some lunch and then rake some more that afternoon.

Whether this was a one day or multi-day project our last house would always be Violet Wolfe’s.  She lived out in the country, had a little more than an acre, covered in trees and it would take most of the afternoon just to rake her leaves.  It was always our students favorite place to rake for a couple of reasons: 1 we didn’t have to bag the leaves up and haul them off, we could just wind roll them into her ditch and 2, when we were done wind rolling them we got to burn them. Nothing like a van load of students with permission to burn something.  I think some of them would have raked every yard on Antioch Road if they could have set fire to something when they were done.

I thought about those fall days, hanging with students, when we passed Violet’s house coming back to town after Alisha and Dustin’s wedding and the simplicity of some youth and children from Edgewood working together at the home of some of our senior adults.  The bonds that were formed, the familial feel it gave to what we were doing and who we were as a congregation all brought together by a simple time of raking leaves.

That wasn’t all we did to bridge the gap between our students and our seniors. We would go caroling at Christmas, at least once a year the students would program and sponsor one of the PEP clubs monthly meetings, and we would visit some of our shut-ins in nursing homes a couple times a year.  Several of the seniors became grandparent figures, not only for Jordan and Karen, but for the students in our ministry as well.  I think, Mrs. Juanita, our church secretary even attended a couple of grandparent days at school with Karen.

We’ve been gone from Edgewood almost 7 years now, and the Sunday after the wedding when we walked into the church for worship, some of these same seniors came and walked past Gina and I to make over Karen and Jordan, mostly Jordan.  After all he is the one that has changed the most; he was only 13 when we left.  Those relationships that were forged through just being family, they don’t just disappear.

Simple things, no high dollar programs, no hours and hours of time spent planning, not a lot adult volunteer leadership required, just hanging out and that built relationships.  In a world where statistics tell us that fifty to eighty-five percent of students leave church after they graduate high school, and the same research tell us that one commonality among the students that stay is that they have developed relationships with adults in the church, outside of the youth ministry volunteers, maybe it’s time we simplified things and just found ways to be family.

Fall and the upcoming Holiday season are a couple of great places to start.

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Helping our students be “on Mission”

Involving students in missions is vital in the discipleship journey of a student and is a lot more than the once a year mission trip.  Today on the vidcast, two of our regional coaches who are youth ministers from here in Louisville KY, Kris Billiter from Walnut Street  Baptist and Tim Ashley from Beechland Baptist join me in discussing how to help students live a missional lifestyle.

 

Join our discussion…what are you doing to call your students to missional living?

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Who says teens can’t do the right thing….?

Originally posted today on  yahoo.

Tue Nov 01 10:49am EDT

Teen rowers give up medal dreams to help capsized foes

By Cameron Smith

It’s always said that high school sports are supposed to teach young athletes the value of good sportsmanship. Now we all know that at least two prep rowers from Philadelphia are listening.

Episcopal Academy rowers James Konopka and Nick Mead

As first reported by the Philadelphia Daily News, Philadelphia (Penn.) Episcopal Academy rowers James Konopka and Nick Mead made the ultimate sacrifice during their Under-17 doubles race at the Head of the Schuykill regatta on Sunday when they abandoned a promising start to help rescue two fellow competitors who had capsized.

With temperatures unseasonably cold and Philadelphia (Penn.) St. Joseph’s Prep rowers Joe Leonard and Andrew Burrichter struggling with their boat and treading water in the icy river, Konopka and Mead made a snap decision to give up a promising start that could have landed them in the medals to help get the fellow high school rowers to safety, waiting with them until a safety launch arrived to get the St. Joseph’s pair out of the frigid water.

“They had flipped,” Konopka, a 16-year-old sophomore, said yesterday. “Nick said we should probably go back [to help them] and I agreed, so we turned around.”

“They were yelling ‘help’ and one of the kids didn’t appear as if he could swim too well,” said Mead, a 16-year-old junior. “The water was cold and I’m sure their limbs were going numb.”

Considering the fact that the high temperature in the Philadelphia area on Sunday was only around 45 degrees, Mead’s concern about his competitor’s condition was almost certainly correct.

For most teens, that good samaritan act would have been more than enough work for one day. That wasn’t the case with Konopka and Mead, who insisted on turning back around and completing the race.

When the Episcopal Academy duo finally reached the finish line, their coaches were stunned that it had taken them so long … until they found out that the sophomore and junior had helped their capsized opponents. That information changed the Episcopal staff’s reaction from one of mild disappointment to admiration of their own charges.

Clearly, it was the right response, just as Mead and Konopka’s decision to help had been.

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What’s the top way churches make teens feel welcomed and valued?

This article was posted recently at stickyfaith.org.  Click on the link to read it is it’s entirety.

This article was adapted from Sticky Faith, Youth Worker Edition, by Kara Powell, Brad Griffin and Cheryl Crawford (Zondervan 2011) and originally appeared in the Sep/Oct edition of Immerse Journal. Reprinted with permission.

Wouldn’t it be great to find the youth ministry silver bullet?

Neither of us has seen (or used) an actual silver bullet. In our culture today, the silver bullet has become synonymous for a sure thing.

The problem is, sure things in youth ministry are rare. Programs come and go, as do communication channels and strategies for reaching kids on the margins. Who would have guessed the power of online social media a few years back or the number of middle schoolers in our groups who use smart phones?

While sure things are rare, one phenomenon that is not as rare as we would hope is students leaving the faith after they graduate from our youth ministries. As we have examined other research, our conclusion is that 40 to 50 percent of kids who are connected to a youth group when they graduate high school will fail to stick with their faith in college.

Let’s translate that statistic to the kids in your youth ministry.

Imagine the seniors in your youth ministry standing in a line and facing you. Now, imagine that you ask them to count off by twos, just like you used to do on the playground to divide into teams. The ones will stick with their faith; the twos will shelve it.

In an effort to understand this drop off as well as give youth leaders, churches and families tools they need to help kids develop more lasting faith, we at the Fuller Youth Institute (FYI) launched the College Transition Project. As we were planning our College Transition Project six years ago, our FYI research team hoped to find one thing that youth workers could do that would be the silver bullet for sticky faith; the one thing that would develop long-term faith in students. We hoped to find one element of youth ministry programming (e.g., small groups, mentoring, justice work) that would be significantly related to higher faith maturity in students. This silver bullet would launch our high school graduates on a journey of faith that would help them not only survive but thrive across the transition to college and life beyond.

We haven’t found that silver bullet. While small groups, mentoring, justice work, leadership and a host of other youth ministry programs are important, the reality is that kids, ministry programs and spiritual development are far more complex than that.

Intergenerational Stickiness

It turns out that intergenerational relationships are one key to building lasting faith in students. Silver bullet? No. Helpful if we want students to live their faith beyond high school? Absolutely.

Sadly, many high school students lack these significant relationships. In our effort to offer relevant and developmentally appropriate teaching and fellowship for teenagers, we have segregated (and we use that verb intentionally but not lightly) students from the rest of the church. In interviews and open-ended survey questions, participants shared reflections like this one: “The students seemed to be very separated from the rest of the congregation. Maybe fixing that gap would help unite the church.”

That segregation causes students to shelve their faith. Our study of nearly 500 youth group graduates from around the country has revealed the following important insights about the power of intergenerational relationships in building sticky faith:

Intergenerational Insight #1: Involvement in all-church worship during high school is more consistently linked with mature faith in both high school and college than any other form of church participation.

The closest our research has come to that definitive silver bullet is this sticky finding: High school and college students who experience more intergenerational worship tend to have higher faith maturity. Of the many youth group participation variables we examined, involvement in intergenerational worship and relationships had one of the most robust correlations with faith maturity. This is true for our students’ senior year of high school and their freshman year of college.

Intergenerational Insight #2: The more students serve and build relationships with younger children, the more likely it is that their faith will stick.

Granted, some of your teenagers opt to serve in children’s ministry because they want to avoid going to the regular service. And sure, others volunteer because their schools require service hours.

Yet, even in the midst of these mixed motives, the high school students we surveyed who served in middle school or children’s ministry seemed to have stickier faith in college. Part of that is probably due to the type of student who is likely to volunteer to serve younger children, but nonetheless, more than just babysitting, being involved in children’s ministry seems to be faith building.

Intergenerational Insight #3: High school seniors don’t feel supported by adults in their congregations.

As a research team, we weren’t all that surprised that, of five major sources of support (adults in the congregation, parents, youth workers, friends in youth group and friends outside youth group), high school seniors ranked adults in the congregation last.

What did surprise us was how far behind they were the other four groups. One graduate reported that his church “would talk about having students involved, but they never really did.” Another reflected that church members “wanted nothing to do with us… I think they see us as kind of scary in that we’re the people on the news, you know, who are dealing drugs and getting pregnant and all those sort of things…keeping us separate and treating us like we were a hazard.”

Intergenerational Insight #4: By far, the number-one way that churches made the teens in our survey feel welcomed and valued was when adults in the congregation showed interest in them.

More than any single program or event, kids were far more likely to feel like a significant part of their localchurches when adults made the effort to get to know them. One student beamed as he said, “We were welcomed not just in youth group; we were welcomed into other parts of the ministry of the church: the worship team on Sunday mornings, teaching Sunday school to kids and helping with cleaning and serving. All these other types of things really just brought the youth in and made them feel like they had a place and even feel like they were valued as individuals.”

As always your comments are welcome.

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@WoodyWhite13 that is good news2 days ago